“Human
nature, as manifested in tribalism and nationalism, provides the momentum of
the machinery of human evolution.-Arthur Keith
(1946) Essays on Human Evolution.
p. 68”
From the foregoing quote,I was once asked,” Why is it
that indigenous Coastal people rarely date each other once they come to
Nairobi". And my response;
"Once Coastal guys come to Nairobi, our ladies all of a sudden call us KAKA. With this KAKA tag, come a lot of expectations. That is you are forced to call the lady DADA".
Now once you identify with the two-KAKA and DADA...You become family by consanguinity and affinity...Don't forget that the family tree started with ADAM and EVE in the beginning. A result of creation theory; as Historians claim since they believe we evolved from apes. Charles Darwin must have been crazy to say we were apes before. Anyway call an African an ape/monkey today and our ancestral traits are resurrected. Look at African footballers reactions in Europe.
Back to my love story…"Once Coastal guys come to Nairobi, our ladies all of a sudden call us KAKA. With this KAKA tag, come a lot of expectations. That is you are forced to call the lady DADA".
Now once you identify with the two-KAKA and DADA...You become family by consanguinity and affinity...Don't forget that the family tree started with ADAM and EVE in the beginning. A result of creation theory; as Historians claim since they believe we evolved from apes. Charles Darwin must have been crazy to say we were apes before. Anyway call an African an ape/monkey today and our ancestral traits are resurrected. Look at African footballers reactions in Europe.
Coastal guys are then prompted to date women from other communities. We learn the hard way to up our seduction game or we will be rendered vestigial in this competitive Nairobi environment. A once enigma of love in Coast becomes redundant if not careful. We are forced to read books like "FIFTY SHADES OF GREY". The coastal guys who lack a reading culture have no option but to listen to tales of how Nairobi guys hook up with "Chicks" in clubs for one night stands. Tales which sound like Disney Fantasy World. The problem is, when a Coastal guy sees alcohol, seduction becomes a facade. Ask me; give a coastal guy an option of "MNAZI" and a "Chick". He will pick “MNAZI” because to us a chick is a delicacy cooked on special occasions.
We no longer want to be identified with the Swahili Proverb, "Jogoo la Shamba Haliwiki Nairobi".
The coastal guys pull a lot of tricks from the basics to pure refinement of skills only witnessed in Soap Operas. Coastal guys want to pull a "Bukusu Darling" stunt. We were all awed by these two love misfits. A Bukusu guy with an Indian lady Ghai fafa! No one could fathom that. It is like motley of a black man and white lady mannequin who forever will remain that way so the lady's father hopes. All of a sudden the Indian Caste has crumbled to a beautiful blossoming love affair. What remains next is to see how far this inter-racial dating will go. Anyway, my main concern is; when is the lady's father going to pay dowry???.The young Bukusu man will be in a weird dowry negotiation ceremony since the traditional courtship and marriage of the Bukusu people will be vanquished.
The Bukusu man will no longer be able to give cattle as dowry which has a lot of significance among the Bukusu people.
Let me break it down for you how it would have been;
The first cow is known as ‘ekhafu ye khusera’ (a cow for proposing to the Indian lady). The second cow is known as ‘ye situru’ (a cow for making the breasts of a lady droop #hides). The third cow is known as ‘yembako’ (for the traditional chores she will do once married). Fourth cow is known as ‘ya khocha’ (for the brother to her mother). The fifth is for ‘lukosi’ (for ones love for his wife). The rest of the cows will be for general well being to the Indian-laws.
However, lets all hold our breathe and wait.
Anyway, the beauty of all this is that we end up breaking the atomic and ionic bond of tribalism. We breathe in fresh air into ethnic diversity.
We demystify the tag that men from other tribes are not men enough.
We bring in creativity to love and empower each other in ways unimaginable. From social to political to economic empowerment name it.
And it all arose from the KAKA tag. With this Coastal guys have encountered Article 27 of the Constitution. We have realized it by all means “I’m-possible”.
So what does this Article 27 say because everyday people are shouting about it-politicians, NGOs, human rights activists, men and women in general, children et cetera.
Basically, it is about equality and freedom from discrimination. If the zeal people shout about this Article in the media was applied in relationships, love would have been the most beautiful thing ever in Kenya, our economic background not withstanding. It will be equivalent to an OASIS in hell.
Too bad the ones who shout loud about this are the same people who curse other tribes in determining who their daughters or sons will marry. How many times have you heard of tales that Coastal guys are lazy???
Duh indigenous Coastal guys cook for themselves. And not just cook, they cook things women hear of and imagine. Name them, pilau, biriani, coconut-laced rice not drug-laced et cetera.e are not bragging, but our trumpets just blew on their own accord.
If you can be enticed by and run after a buffet of Swahili delicacies,Githeri, Mokimo,Dagaa, Tsimbande, Tsing'oli, Ngima, Kuon,Obusuma, Ingoho, Anjera, Bhatura,Chole Bahature,Poha,Wari and Kadsora in a Five-Star Hotel,Why can't you embrace diversity just like a buffet?
Anyway,we do our own laundry to perfection. We iron our clothes with exquisite
prowess. We hustle in Nairobi to make ends meet sometimes. We have even gone to
schools. We have doctorates where I come from so you know!!!Anyway, if that does not qualify to be hard-working, then we are proud LAZY Coastal guys lol…
Thanks to all the Coastal ladies in Nairobi for pushing us to the limit in seeking ladies from other regions. You have made us competitive with limited resources. We are now blessed with high intelligence quotient. You have made us break the yoke of tribalism finally.
I encourage men and women from Central, Western, Nyanza even Eastern etc, to come to Coast and fall in love with what we have as we venture into their territories armed to the teeth with goodies from Coast.
With this, we will finally embrace each other as Kenyans. Tribalism starts from our houses. Lets break it with inter-ethnic marriages. My Bukusu Darling has inspired us beyond our cacophonic sycophancy of tribal patronage, lets make our dreams valid.
It starts with you!
Big up to all the guys dating from different tribes and in inter-racial relationships. Allow me to finish with this quote because I am getting excited to continue writing this as the fountain of wisdom continuously flows in my veins,
“I think tribalism is a mental prison…and pride of identity coupled with arrogance is one of the leading factors that limit one’s ability to abandon it”- Duop Chak Wuol
