PEER EDUCATION AND RELATIONSHIP ADVISE

COMMERCIALISATION OF KENYAN RELATIONSHIPS

(Written on 15th September 2012)

Africa! Africa! Mama Africa! The land of compassionate love, what have we done to ourselves? Do we have any conscious left in us???

The family fabric in the Kenyan society is growing weaker day in, day out. Relationships have been commercialized to such an extent that the haves and haves-not are drifting away from each other.It has become a material world.

First, African families which were once communal, have embraced the Western lifestyle leading to disintegration of them. People no longer live in harmony.

Those who are well-off within a family set-up, see the rest as a threat. Even their own blood has become a “plague” worth avoiding. In times of happiness, such families would go to the length of hiding their joy by not sending invitation cards to dine with them. They have class, you have rags. They look at you with disgust. Even paying a visit to their homes is a bizarre headache. They want to get rid of you even before you knock the door to announce your grandiose arrival.They anticipate endless list of relatives problems, not knowing you just popped in to say “Hi” and depart immediately.

It is such a shame those moments evade us during periods of sickness and grieve. In such times, everyone becomes classless and the family fabric becomes stronger than ever before. Everyone makes an effort to contribute and catch up with “long-lost” relatives whom you just heard of through older members of your close knit family.

You become enthusiastic to learn about them but at the “wrong” moments. Such moments do not last because immediately afterwards, everybody goes back to their cocoons and live as before. Its classical reminiscence of “out of sight, out of mind”. We have become selfish than ever before as families. The saying blood is thicker than water no longer holds water. It just a cliché.

Lets respect each other as family members, whether poor or rich. Have you ever heard of a person being buried with all his property???If we do so, we will be in breach of the 6-feet rule.

Secondly, we have commercialized religion to such levels that atheists and pagans fill justified in their naïve belief on non-existence of God. Purported men of God, have made the Church a viable commercial entity at the expense of Faith. Anointing oil is sold so as to be cured of your miseries.

M-PESA church contributions are thriving at the expense of receiving blessings and miracles. Pastors have become “more authoritative” than God. They now sprinkle oil on the cross and by touching it; a miracle is bound to happen. Even others have perfected the art of peeling back the mouth after it miraculously went sideways due to flexing of mouth muscles.

Mockery of “God” has become too much in churches. Pastors live well off and drive latest fuel guzzlers. I don’t have a problem with such a lifestyle but not at the expense of fooling your followers. They say religion is the opium of the poor, so sad but equally true. We should remain vigilant as church followers…Remember the Bible clearly says, “If you are led by a blind leader, you are also blind, and together you will fall into the same ditch”.

Finally, romantic relationships have become more commercial than ever before. Money can buy love; romantic words alone will buy poverty. All of us have heard of “Campus Divas for Rich Men”;”Campus Divas for Masufferers”:”Campus Dudes For Sugar Mummies”; next you will hear of “Campus Lesbians for Homosexuals”…What happened to human dignity???

A case is heard of a certain campus lady who thrived in earthly pleasures from a married man forgetting that nothing comes for free. Sadly, she got drugged one day and what happened next has always been a “NIGHTMARE” she has refused to embrace cordially.

A campus dude also fell into the same trap when his days as a “don Juan” and ”Casanova” were halted by a sugar mummy when he was gifted with “HIV/AIDs” wrapped in a nice glossing package.

Money is sweet, very sweet but not at the expense of your integrity. I used to say, “Money is not the problem, women are the problem” but now I retract the statement by putting it this way, “Money is the Problem, Men are not an exception”.

Lets build our relationships from scratch. A strong foundation is all that is needed for a successful relationship. Lets not be the authors of our own misfortunes. Remember, a moment of passion, may turn out to be a life time of regret. Lets have relationship built on reality and not the fallacy of fantasy. If you still believe that it is better to cry in a Mercedes than ride a bicycle with your hubby to work, then good for you but be forewarned.

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INGREDIENTS OF A SUCCESSFUL ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIP FOR MEN

Wherever your girlfriend might be,find her.If she is far call her and let her know how much you love her and how much she means to you.
Stress,frustrations,space,financial problems and insecurities are normal part of any relationship and they can be fixed.
Do not be typical man.Do not go looking for the easy way out when the going gets tough in a relationship especially one that stood against all odds to build.
A relationship is work,work on it.Be patient,love her and don't hold back.
Take her for ice-cream,a movie,a walk in the park.
Hug her tight close to your chest,feel her heartbeat,love her,even if she is wrong.
Ego aside,go down on your knees and say sorry.
Call her,listen to her,make deep passionate love to her,anything to make things right,just do it.
Fooling around is not the solution.It could leave you scarred for life or even dead.
It's hard to find a genuine partner this days,so when you have it,hold tight and cherish it...

The simple things we do make a lot of differences in a relationship..